Adult onset A.D.D.: alive and kickin' (my ass)

I try to eat healthy and work out and generally take care of myself. But apparently I've consumed too much sugar or caffeine or something over the course of the last 29 and some odd month years I have been on this earth because over the course of the last few years, I've developed some serious A.D.D.

I should blame my blackberry, the internet, global warming, but the truth of the matter is that I'm getting pretty desperate to (a) leave my current job and (b) find something that inspires me to wake up in the morning (other than my boyfriend's breakfasts and my dog's need to go to the bathroom). This week alone I came up with three new business ideas. This is on top of the shoe company and event planning I've already got stewing in my head.

So is it just ADD? Do you act on ADD? What is the outlet for these thoughts? Because it's sure as hell preventing me from being a productive member of a firm that pays me big bucks to... well sit around thinking about how much I hate the firm and how to leave it.

Apparently I'm not the only one either... my friends and family are all in (or maybe on) the same boat (in their flippy floppies). So what the eff is going on. I'm bored damn it. I just want to earn a living doing something FUN. Is that selfish or stupid? My parents (probably limited to just dad) would probably think so. My dad laughs when I tell him my job sucks. He thinks that making what I make at my age should = "cake walk." At what age does one start living for themselves and not their parent's judgement? Is there a date I can calendar for myself on Outlook for something, I'm dying for that day to be here already.

Maybe I'll write a book. That can''t be that hard to do, right? What about inventing a lock that you put on your food in the office fridge. To keep people from stealing your yogurt or sandwich or coffee creamer? Oh, what about organic products, that's the way to go. Pets and kids. Yea, that's it. pets and kids. cha ching. God, somebody get me some ritalin.

Topic du Jour

First, an introduction and my thoughts on blogging.

The thought of blogging is disconcerting because I don't really think anybody gives a shit to read what I have to say. Low self-esteem? Not really, I just think those that blog are slightly ego centric and like to hear themselves talk. Sure, I also have opinions, am witty and often hilarious,. but who really cares? Right?

That being said, I DO like writing and I need another avenue to vent to think to ponder and to do this in a form other than talking to friends or loved ones or facebook. I've found that lately, instead of venting or expressing myself, I keep everying inside because I just don't want to deal with the conversation. I don't want to have to argue my point. I don't want to defend it. Sometimes I don't even want to discuss it. I just want to put it out there. And there aren't many avenues in which a person can do that. So here I am, blogging.

Allons-y! (I took 4 years of French in high school and am amazed at how much I can (sometimes) still remember. So, for the purposes of impressing solely myself, I like to throw in random euro-words here and there.)

Topic #1: hating the practice of law.

So this seems to be the topic du jour, or rather in my case du mois or d'an lately. Here I am again, on year after starting (another) new gig at The Firm, finding myself unhappy and disgruntled. Do I hate The Firm? Do I hate coverage work? Do I hate the people I work for? Or maybe I hate being a lawyer? It's hard for me to make this determination because I've pretty much invested the last 8 years of my life to this so called career. That scares the shit out of me. I've essentially been told that I suck as an attorney. This makes a move to a new firm quite terrifying because you can't help but think, "maybe they are right?" Maybe I hate this because I actually SUCK at it. I'm not entirely ruling it out for the source of my unhappiness.

So, for argument's sake, let's brainstorm options for alternative careers. SO far, my only ideas are:

1. Personal Trainer: I like working out and being active; it would be "fun" to teach people how to work out and be healthier (it's not THAT hard); I would get to wear gym clothes to work (comfy!).... but what's the pay?; do I want to work non-traditional hours? What about skeezy clients...

2. Meat Pagoda -that's become code for my desire to own some sort of gourmet euro deli. The "plan" was to open it in my dear South Loop but this dream was foiled due to (1) a serious lack of capital and (2) a seriously lack of capital and (3) the recent openings of 2, soon to be 3 small grocery stores on Michigan Ave within a 5 block radius, including one in my building. A part of me hates it, but I have to admit, they did a really nice job with it and I'm glad that my property value has gone up (hopefully) as a result.

So those are my non-lawyer options at this point. Awesome, right?

Funny enough, I'm writing this blog from the office. On a weekened. Putting in hours when the bosses say I am not putting in enough, but also billing too much, and also putting out incompetent work. I'm confused, do you want me to work on these cases anymore or are you just going to brow beat me into feeling like a worthless POS so I just walk off into the sunset on my own... still trying to figure that out.